The gentlebirth.org website is provided courtesy of
Ronnie Falcao, LM MS, a homebirth midwife in Mountain View, CA

Forceps, C-Section, VBAC, Homebirth

First child highly medicalized vaginal birth, baby yanked out with mid forceps.

After my unnecessary section for my second daughter in 1987, I read "Silent Knife". Up until then, I was OK about the birth. Disappointed, but not mad about it. Then when I read that book, and examined all the things that went wrong and led to my section I was so angry. Angry that my dr failed me, and mad at myself for not knowing better. I read and re-read that book many many times.

Then I read Open Season. I thought it was nothing more than an additional amount of ragging on hospitals. It was too "homebirth fanatical", an option I didn't think could apply to me, after all, I'd had a c-section, I was overweight, and I've also had gestational diabetes, and extraordinarily long labors.

My third was a vbac. Very high intervention vbac, but at least she came out the right hole. I was even madder this second time that my birth plan was trash in their eyes...completely ignored. I thought I could trust them since I had it all in writing ahead of time. WRONG! A hosp is a hosp, regardless of the attendant.

I read Open Season again. This time I am thinking to myself that if there is ever to be another baby, it must never happen at the hosp, because I cannot take it. I cannot advocate for myself in that place, I am fighting them the whole time and all my birth energy is drained from the fighting. My husband is a wimp when I am in childbirth. He loves me, and is so afraid something is going to go wrong. He has to learn to trust birth, trust my body and trust ME. We need an advocate to work for us.

Well, now I have decided that I will not have the kind of birth I want/need in a hospital setting. Not now or ever. So, if I truly want no unnecessary interventions, I must stay away from there. I am now actually afraid of the hospital. I don’t want people to think that I am some extremist who would put my or my baby's life in danger, but unless it is a real true, honest to god emergency, I refuse to go there again. My midwife has made me a promise...she will not let them do anything to me against my express wishes, nor will she stand by and quietly watch them hurt me or my baby because of their protocol, even if that means screwing up her privileges there. So, after having a pre-conceptual meeting with this midwife I tell my husband that I cannot go through with a hosp birth again, and if we are to have another child, it must be at home. Surprisingly, he comes around. He really liked the midwife, and was impressed with the amount of time and effort she puts into us, our lifestyle and our eating habits, and our health (his and mine). She wants to make sure we know how to get the very best sperm and the very best egg united. He loves her, for caring about him too.

So, that's where I'm at. Due in Sept. Planning a homebirth (in water). I absolutely will not consider the hosp unless we might die. I agree with the statement I keep reading....Birth is as safe as life gets. God that is so true.